“And I will give them singleness of heart and put a new spirit within them. I will take away their stony, stubborn heart and give them a tender, responsive heart,” – Ezekiel 11:19 NLT
Today our office went on our annual outing and we were divided into teams, competing with each other while learning about trust, teamwork, communication and how to spell words correctly (LOL! But yes, there was a spelling bee game).
One of my favorite games this year is titled “I Trust Them” where each member is wrapped or tied by two sturdy ropes and lowered forward, down towards the pool where they need to put a ping pong ball inside a ring (see pic below; yes that’s me being lowered into the pool to put the orange ball inside that tiny orange floating ring).
It takes trust to just fall face first, surrendering the fate of your nose to your teammates (risking being meme-ed or filmed face-planting onto the water) and it stretches your core and arms/legs muscles to be able to reach your goal.
I was a bit wary at first (who wouldn’t be?!) but soon I realized that (a) it’s only doable if you let yourself go fully, (b) we were too competitive to be afraid of face-planting so everybody just ended up diving in in order to beat the other team (victory first, shame later), (c) lowering, holding and pulling up a teammate weren’t that hard to do because we did it together; and (d) my teammates were very lucky because I’ve shed 31 kgs over the past year so they wouldn’t have to work as hard when it was my turn.
That last thought made me think about our previous outing.
We had a trust-building game too but it was the classic “fall backwards and we’ll catch you” type. Selected team members would go up a table then fall backwards while the rest locked their arms, catching them safely.
I weighed over 100 kg back then (and I was afraid of heights) so I didn’t participate in the trust fall. I didn’t want to put my teammates through the pain of having to catch heavy me. Plus, no matter how strong they were, I wasn’t convinced that they could hold me up. The last thing I wanted was injuring them and myself.
This year though, I dove in without a doubt. Not because I’ve done enough HIIT or yoga or pilates or whatever to strengthen my core, and not because I’ve reached my ideal weight. But I know that I’ve changed and that change has allowed me to achieve my goal more easily. Most importantly, that change allowed my friends to help me and together we were able to win the game.
This got me thinking (and it’s not just about weight): if you don’t want to change and help yourself, you’re making it harder for others to help you too.
A good change, no matter how small, will always have a noticeable effect or impact.
We all know that when we accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior, our hearts and lives will be changed. He will give us a new heart and our character will be shaped as we mature in Him.
But what a lot of people don’t realize is that receiving a new spirit and heart alone isn’t enough. Change requires work, a response from us so that we can grow to be a better version of us that’s more and more like Jesus—someone who bears fruit, who obeys God (and not remain stubborn like the Israelites in the Old Testament).
We need to do something consciously, deliberately, day in day out, through ups and downs… we need to respond (verb!) to His touch (as written in the Amplified Bible translation of Ezekiel 11:19).
Another important aspect in becoming a better us is other people’s help. We need them. Period.
They sharpen us. They help shape us. Plus, it’s just more fun with others around.
That’s why a Godly, healthy community (like small groups) is important, that’s why God wants us to be planted in a church: the body of Christ. Each body part has its own strengths, weaknesses and a specific function; but together/combined, they are stronger and if they work together, they can accomplish more, their weaknesses can be compensated, they can reach their goal and be what/how God wants them to be.
But, again, it’s all useless if the change doesn’t start from you. Those people probably won’t be able to do much to help you if you don’t want to help yourself.
They can’t offer you advice or ideas if you choose to be stubborn all the time.
They can’t tell you a better way to do things if you choose to always do things your way regardless of the result.
They can’t show you their love if you choose not to open yourself up to them.
They can’t bless you if you choose not to be generous to others.
They can’t help you find a job if you refuse to work hard and commit.
I don’t know what change it is that you need in your life. I need a lot of changes in character, in my heart, in the words I say, in how I manage my finances, in my Bible reading consistency… in probably everything I do LOL. So I’m not trying to sound arrogant or preachy. This is a hard lesson for me too. I might have changed physically but the entire process—the journey—is endless. I can always be better and I will always need people around me to help me become better.
Let’s do this together. Let’s start small and keep at it.
Help them help you.